My Paris Trip...

Special thanks to O for hosting me. Some of the photos....

See the magical creations of Sadaharu and of course, Pierre Herme.

To Be less Me...

It's not all bad being Me. But just sometimes, the me is far too sensitive and far too emotional. That's the me I actually think is isn't all so great. Jumping to conclusions too quickly is another bad me...and recently, I learnt the hard way. The result did not turn out as bad as I thought it was, but nevertheless, with some good advice from Leons I think I salvaged it fairly quickly! Phew!

Anyway, today's been an okay day. I went to GOSH and RLHH and by some sheer coincidence, Tango reminded me about the Hunterian Museum and since I was around the Holborn area, it seemed like a perfect day to go over and have a look. I was always fasinated by anatomy and what surgeons did and all things to do with natural philosophy! So it was the Hunterian Museum then!

It turned out to be one of the best museums I've been in a long time (Thank you Tango!) - the exhibits were really fasinating and having one of the world's largest collections of anatomy specimens in the world just by my doorstep in London reminded me how fortunate I am, once again!
Then managed an impromptu lunch with Tango and it's nice to meet up having not seen him for so long despite being back in London. Sometimes just speaking to someone face-to-face really helps. He seemed happy but a little stressed with the upcoming exams(finals!?!) but I am sure he'll manage fine. Tango's a friend that you can have that does not judge (most of the time I hope), fairly clueless, but says some pretty sensible things despite not being v sensible himself. He keeps me fairly grounded. But yet at the same time, tells me things I thought only happened in movies, but obviously they actually REALLY do happen...anyway....shared with him a little secret (dont think he judged me on that one, but he was getting close to it) but it's good cos sometimes you need to get it out of your system.
Reminder: he's a friend to keep, though you have to remember he lives in quite a different world! HAHA....

LOOKING FORWARD TO HK TRIP....

How odd...i'm incredibly looking forward to the HK trip at the end of the year! All my good friends...and yes...someone I've been planning to meet but just keep missing each other! Also have not been to HK for so long...wonder what's it like? Will I like it there?
Some friends have a mentality that its just flashes of light ; extremely shallow and hollow...hmmm...we shall see.

Paris

One of the cities I have been many a times yet most of the time I see very little of. Trip this time is meant for a recharge, to think through some of those confused thoughts in my mind, to visit Sadaharu Aoki, Pierre Herme, La Maison du Chocolat, Fouchon and all the wonderful frenchy places really! Oh and also a trip to INSEAD and HEC as an MBA becomes increasingly favourable in times of uncertainty.

So nice of O to host me - having met her sis, bro and all. Even a visit to the family for dinner tomorrow! I'm blessed by wonderful friends.

Chill is what I plan to do, though I must say I am missing the said person somewhat. How strange that seems...even to myself!

... four days later

INSEAD is as I had expected it to be. People are interesting, extremely warm, funny and Fontainebleu is enchanting. I can imagine having a good time there. Oh and its the riding town of France so there you go! Where I can properly practise riding...hmmm...v tempting indeed.

HEC is shall we say what Milton Keynes is to UK. INSEAD's like Hampsted Heath and HEC Milton Keynes? I meant not in a bad way but it did feel v isolated and cold although the course structure is more appealing. INSEAD does sound too rushed, too fast.

Patisseries - I'm completely stuffed. Would not even dare to step onto the scales when I get back. The creations are truly enchanting and you can see why PH is so popular. Its proper quality and we're talking real real quality stuff like good ingredients and all. Compared to Sada, Sadaharu is a little more adventurous and very avant garde but not better definitely. Its like some days you want something quirky and different, but not neccessarily cheaper you buy Paul & Joe. For proper clothes of good make and always guaranteed to fit (me that is) you go Maxmara. Thats my wat of comparing ler.
And macarons - ate 4 on said person's account. 2 from PH and 2 from Ladureé. Must say that in terms of the balance between flavour and lightness, Ladureé rules. Though PH must be given some brownies points for the interesting flavours he had on sale. I had the Chocolate and Yuzu and a passionfruit and chocolat au lait one (tasted a little like cough mixture)

Enough of food, but yup. Have also been giving the whole MBA, London, baking thing a thought. Asking myself what I've yet to do and would be nice to do. Maybe HK? That will be someting new and also properly throwing myself into something. BIG AND BAD...sometimes I wished I had the courage to just go do it. Be less apprehensive, be a little bolder. Yes - giving up the job was a big thing. But I've not properly tried. Or have I? Isn't it all a gamble?

Still missing said person...

Bothered and bewildered...

When you try to let down that social veil, you become truly vulnerable. As much as we would all like to protect ourselves, there comes a time when you just have to be what you are.
If you're just very weepy you cry. If you like someone you tell them (or is it so simple?). But sometimes you cannot seem to take that step forward.

Pushing boundaries are hard - extremely hard. Especially if it means it's not rational, it does not make any sense, there are complications to all of it. (are you feeling lonely or are you truly missing someone? 8+ time differences, here/there/nowhere)
As you grow older, you're meant to make responsible judgements, actions, say things you know are right (most of the time what you don't mean) and all that things that are associated with growing up.

Why are there such choices to make?

I was told to live for the moment. I find that incredibly difficult. Live for the moment is a very new and scary concept to me. It represents no security, uncertainty, fear and carelessness. Many things that do not define me. Am I losing my identity as a person as I take this time out to think through my options? What opportunities has this brought to me so far?
New friends, new relationships, new lifestyle?

I hope my trip to Paris tomorrow will help to clear this truly messed up mind of mine I have right now. Some perception, new discoveries ... yet, at the same time, I'm silently hoping for THAT miracle to happen. To be swept off the feet, to be surprised!

What are the chances? We live in such a predictable world today. Everyone is guarded, calculated and selfish.

Sad movies, always make you cry...

Probably some of you might already know this, but I am a hopeless romantic and a complete sucker for sad movies. Of course my all-time favourite (get ready for the "chehs") is this old Chinese movie called 玻 璃之城. Yes - that's the one with London as a backdrop. That's the one with Leon in the movie. Yes yes...that's the one!

There's only 2 people in this world that guessed correctly when asked what they thought my fav. movie was(what are the chances?). One acted in the movie (eew!) and one was given a big clue cos I wanted the said person to guess correctly you see ...

Oh well - sometimes I think that the movie's so unrealistic and so so old-fashioned. But I guess it's just one those movies that reminded me of the times when things were so simple (in my life), when everything in my life was very clear and defined and so totally uncomplicated.
The most worrying thing was the A levels. That was it really.

Those were happy times. In fact, I relived some of those happy memories this weekend. I bumped into an old college friend in one of the bars. (the bar was hideous) It's unbelievable that after 10 years (omg! It is 10 years) that the life you left behind, creeps back and everything just seemed so familiar once again. Student Lounge, class bench, econs lecture..haha....
I did not particularly knew A well when we were in JC. Just that when you hear a familiar voice, a familiar mannerism, things are just so much more comfortable. Again, it's all to do with the fact that we are creatures that prefer things we know better.

Having said that, someone unfamiliar can also be familiar. And can be close at heart. Only if we allow ourselves to open up, to let down those boundaries. Maybe you'll discover that the world outside of your own might be very intimidating, or you might get lucky and find out that there is actually someone out there that cares!
LIFE IS GOOD AGAIN...FOR NOW...

p/s: NONO! I dont like A...for the benefit of all my guessing friends! It's the said person...or is it not?

The Real thing starts today...

I've finally delivered my first order. I've baked, delivered (half of it) and collected payment for my very very first order! It's now real and tangible and kind of odd. It's probably the most difficult 87.40 pounds cheque to earn in my life.

A sense of achievement yet extremely physically exhausting. Yes. I was baking and packing those cantuccinis and langues de chat till 3am last night. And the first thing I did since I opened my eyes this morning was to continue baking the matcha sponge (which in a moment of anxiousness, I messed it up and had to re-do another one), went out to get more supplies for the ginger and cinnamon bread and came back baked that, then discovered I could not manage carrying all that at one go so it'd be another delivery tomorrow.
Then it's cutting those labels and logo by hand, then putting double-sided tape on them (yes...double sided tape..and even that was a pain to obtain in good old London) and then putting on 3 separate little things on each pack!

Wow...that was alot of work.

The cakes seemed to be well-received by the customers of postcard teas although we're already having my very first..issue!
The coconut milks langue du chats are losing their crunch very very quickly! It seemed that the seal has not been air-tight and unfortunately I have had to take them all back. I felt really bad that Tim had to be the one to discover this hiddcup and no myselves, which really I should have tested the product a little more rigourously before offering them for sale!

Oh well...that's another lesson learnt! Let's see how we can further improve the product!

As a result, I did not take any photos (too embarassed) of my products at Postcard teas.